Tuesday, February 18, 2014

What's your story?

Stories. We all create them. Myriads of opinions, thoughts, beliefs about us, everyone and everything else. And they are intricately woven such that we can never get to the real issue. We are smart, aren't we?! To me, stories are nothing but layers and layers of crap that we create in order to not get to the heart of the problem or to acknowledge what we are aware of. Stories are also reasons that we use to justify the choices we made in the past or making currently. It is simply a way of distracting ourselves from what is real and true....As long as you are with that distraction it's like a dog chasing it's own tail. You will be stuck in a loop forever until you choose to get out of that story....
A couple of days back someone pinged me asking for guidance. He spent 15 mins giving me the entire details of the situation and how he was wronged, how he felt awful, used and disappointed etc. At the end of the conversation what I realized was that the entire thing was a nicely crafted story and the heart of the matter was just that he didn't trust himself and didn't want to acknowledge his strength and capacities. Instead he was trying to prove the rightness of his point of view and entire focus was on how someone else betrayed him, didn't stand up to his expectations et.al. He enjoyed being in the victim space. The moment I brought this to his awareness and we destroyed and un-created the entire story, he immediately felt light and joyful and his entire energy shifted. All this in a matter of 20-25mins! How does it get better than this?! It is all about accessing the power within you and acknowledging how valuable you are.
How many of us actually spend days, weeks, months and years telling the same story to others or to our own selves ....so much so that it starts feeling real and true? The more you tell stories, the more you buy into it and start abusing yourself by going into the victim space which makes you feel like you have no other choice. So how do you know when you are getting into a story? Usually whenever you use the words "because..." or "but..." what follows after that is a story/reason/justification. Example.. I can't do this because.... , or I would love to do this but..... etc. So it just takes a certain amount of awareness and being present to notice when you do this. The moment you become aware, you just destroy all those stories and make a different choice which will open up infinite possibilities!
Another question that might pop up in your universe is...how do I know when I am telling a story and when I am just using it as an example to explain something to someone? Well, in my point of view, when you are in a story, there is a "charge" associated with it and when you are giving an example, it is just an interesting point of view with no 'charge'. What do I mean by charge? Anything that makes you feel emotional/ heavy/ uncomfortable/contracted etc. So all you need to do is be aware of where the charge is...and destroy and un-create it and let it go as it comes up. Is it as simple as that? Yes! We love to make things complicated and hence assume that what is simple doesn't work. Welcome to a different possibility! You are the creator of your life and you have the power to change anything and everything! What would it take for you to acknowledge that right NOW? :)
We may also assume that stories are usually negative reasons/justifications/beliefs. We can create stories that are positive too...like having Utopian ideals. It's like living in 2 ends of a battery. Positive or negative, both are polarities. So stories that appear 'positive' can also create a limitation. For example, I had a story where I had done certain things in my business that created a good result once upon a time and I had assumed that was the right process to follow to succeed each time. With this story, I eliminated all other infinite possibilities of creating my business in a totally different way. The moment I gave up that story, my business started growing in a way that was beyond what I had imagined!
Stories are like carrying heavy baggages everywhere you go.... Imagine when you go on a nice walk in nature, you have to drag around huge and heavy bags with you (this could be anxieties, fears, worries, old wounds, losses, regrets etc). How much freedom would that give you to enjoy the scenery around and have fun?! Get the point? :)
If you are still wondering how to work around with this, here are 4 golden questions from Byron Katie's "The Work" which really helps you break out of a story. It has helped thousands of people around the world and it is AWESOME!
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

After answering the four questions, you go back through each one again and experiment with turnarounds: (1) State the opposite of your thought; (2) State the thought as if the positions between you and your problem person were reversed; (3) State the thought toward yourself, as if it is you that you are having the problem with. Turnarounds help you consider alternative perspectives to consider whether they reveal a truth you've been missing.
So what would your life be like if you gave up ALL your stories/reasons/justifications today?!
Who would you be without your story?

Lots of love, ease and joy!

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