What's your story?

Stories. We all create them. Myriads of opinions, thoughts, beliefs about us, everyone and everything else. And they are intricately woven such that we can never get to the real issue. We are smart, aren't we?! To me, stories are nothing but layers and layers of crap that we create in order to not get to the heart of the problem or to acknowledge what we are aware of. Stories are also reasons that we use to justify the choices we made in the past or making currently. It is simply a way of distracting ourselves from what is real and true....As long as you are with that distraction it's like a dog chasing it's own tail. You will be stuck in a loop forever until you choose to get out of that story....

 

A couple of days back someone pinged me asking for guidance. He spent 15 mins giving me the entire details of the situation and how he was wronged, how he felt awful, used and disappointed etc. At the end of the conversation what I realized was that the entire thing was a nicely crafted story and the heart of the matter was just that he didn't trust himself and didn't want to acknowledge his strength and capacities. Instead he was trying to prove the rightness of his point of view and entire focus was on how someone else betrayed him, didn't stand up to his expectations et.al. He enjoyed being in the victim space. The moment I brought this to his awareness and we destroyed and un-created the entire story, he immediately felt light and joyful and his entire energy shifted. All this in a matter of 20-25mins! How does it get better than this?! It is all about accessing the power within you and acknowledging how valuable you are.

 

How many of us actually spend days, weeks, months and years telling the same story to others or to our own selves ....so much so that it starts feeling real and true? The more you tell stories, the more you buy into it and start abusing yourself by going into the victim space which makes you feel like you have no other choice. So how do you know when you are getting into a story? Usually whenever you use the words "because..." or "but..." what follows after that is a story/reason/justification. Example.. I can't do this because.... , or I would love to do this but..... etc. So it just takes a certain amount of awareness and being present to notice when you do this. The moment you become aware, you just destroy all those stories and make a different choice which will open up infinite possibilities!

 

Another question that might pop up in your universe is...how do I know when I am telling a story and when I am just using it as an example to explain something to someone? Well, in my point of view, when you are in a story, there is a "charge" associated with it and when you are giving an example, it is just an interesting point of view with no 'charge'. What do I mean by charge? Anything that makes you feel emotional/ heavy/ uncomfortable/contracted etc. So all you need to do is be aware of where the charge is...and destroy and un-create it and let it go as it comes up. Is it as simple as that? Yes! We love to make things complicated and hence assume that what is simple doesn't work. Welcome to a different possibility! You are the creator of your life and you have the power to change anything and everything! What would it take for you to acknowledge that right NOW? :)

 

We may also assume that stories are usually negative reasons/justifications/beliefs. We can create stories that are positive too...like having Utopian ideals. It's like living in 2 ends of a battery. Positive or negative, both are polarities. So stories that appear 'positive' can also create a limitation. For example, I had a story where I had done certain things in my business that created a good result once upon a time and I had assumed that was the right process to follow to succeed each time. With this story, I eliminated all other infinite possibilities of creating my business in a totally different way. The moment I gave up that story, my business started growing in a way that was beyond what I had imagined!

 

Stories are like carrying heavy baggages everywhere you go.... Imagine when you go on a nice walk in nature, you have to drag around huge and heavy bags with you (this could be anxieties, fears, worries, old wounds, losses, regrets etc). How much freedom would that give you to enjoy the scenery around and have fun?! Get the point? :)

 

If you are still wondering how to work around with this, here are 4 golden questions from Byron Katie's "The Work" which really helps you break out of a story. It has helped thousands of people around the world and it is AWESOME!

 

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1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

After answering the four questions, you go back through each one again and experiment with turnarounds: (1) State the opposite of your thought; (2) State the thought as if the positions between you and your problem person were reversed; (3) State the thought toward yourself, as if it is you that you are having the problem with. Turnarounds help you consider alternative perspectives to consider whether they reveal a truth you've been missing.
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So what would your life be like if you gave up ALL your stories/reasons/justifications today?!
Who would you be without your story?

 

Lots of love, ease and joy!
Pratima

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To know more about me and what I do, my sessions and workshops, visit
www.reviveholistic.com

www.pratimanagaraj.accessconsciousness.com

Connect with me
Facebook - www.facebook.com/pratima.nagaraj
Twitter - www.twitter.com/pratima_nagaraj
 

 

Living by BEING...

While I talk about the paradoxical state of BEING vs DOING, I am reminded of this 47th verse of TAO and I absolutely love the way Lao Tzu has explained what it is like to just BE. Tao means 'The Path' or The way of life. Not religious, no dogma attached, no rituals...just connects you to the infinite being that you are.

 

Without getting out the door,
know the world.
Without looking out the window,
you may see the ways of heaven.

The farther one goes.
The less one knows.

Therefore the sage does not venture forth
and yet knows,
does not look
and yet names,
does not strive
and yet attains completion.

 

In this reality, we are all focussed mostly on 'Doing' rather than 'Being'. Heck, we are even called Human 'Beings' and not Human Doings and yet it is all about effort, striving, hard work, fixing things et al. It took me a while to actually get that BEING is just a space, a vibration, a frequency that you embody. It is what comes to you naturally. As an infinite being, we all are unique; there is no one else in this universe who is exactly like you. You have your own set of capacities, talents, abilities and potency. But in this reality people are busy trying to out create others, compete, mimic other people's thoughts, feelings and emotions rather than just be who they are. Mimicry is a huge thing. When I started asking the question - 'Whose reality am I living?" and "If I were to live my life the way I desire, and not based on other people's points of views, how would it be?" , I realized how much, unconsciously, I was mimicking other people, which includes my parents, friends, teachers, culture, society, religion etc etc. Once you acknowledge this and stop buying into other people's fixed points of views, you start to show up as more of YOU, who you truly be.

When you do things because you think it is right based on what society or family has told you, you are shifting your life into 'Doing' rather than 'Being', because you are not tapping into your own awareness or knowingness and instead getting into a path which is not natural to you. BEINGness is not a force. It comes to you effortlessly. If you feel as if your life is like an uphill climb, then it is time for you to shift from DOING into BEING. Keep choosing what makes you feel lighter, joyful & happy and expansive and you will tend to show up as more of who you truly are.

This one powerful tool of Access Consciousness, founded by Gary Douglas has helped me tremendously to let go of the crap that I had bought into from everyone and everything else around me so that I could figure out what Being me actually feels like. It is this simple question -
"WHO DOES IT BELONG TO?"
Every belief, point of view, thought, feeling, emotion that you have , just ask who does it really belong to? Is it yours or are you just being aware of what is going on with someone else? If it is not yours, just return to sender, whoever it is, doesn't matter! The more you return, the more you step into being YOU. You may dismiss it thinking it is way too simple so it won't work. I had thought so too because we love things to be complicated. You only know if it works when you use it :)

 

Very often I get asked, what is it that I actually do to have a successful business and live a fun filled life, as if my life is a long vacation. My response is always the same. It is not what I do but who I BE that actually creates a life that I desire. We are so used to logic and analysis that the mind always looks for a step by step process or a formula to create everything. But BEINGness does not have logic or a "how to". It is just a vibrational frequency that you operate in. Hence even my effort to define it here is futile! So just keep following your awareness/intuition/knowingness which usually comes like a feather touch and stop mimicking this reality, to get started :)

This doesn't mean you don't take action, but you never give up on your internal knowing. Awareness is always there, even when your eyes are closed and you are sitting still....

 

 

Happy BEING!

 

 

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To know more about me and what I do, my sessions and workshops, visit
www.pratimanagaraj.accessconsciousness.com
www.reviveholistic.com

Connect with me
Facebook - www.facebook.com/pratima.nagaraj
Twitter - www.twitter.com/pratima_nagaraj
 

 

 

Addiction to Perfectionism

Addiction need not necessarily be to a substance, we can be addicted to certain type of behaviours, feelings/emotions or thought processes like addiction to being right, being wrong, being perfect, to judgements etc.

A couple of weeks back I was listening to some of the talks by Marilyn Bradford, who has created The Bradford System of Right Recovery for overcoming addictions. Some of clearings made me realize that I have been addicted to perfectionism for a large part of my life. I have heard Gary Douglas (the founder of Access Consciousness) say that one of his daughters wanted to join the beginner's Ballet class but she wanted to have private ballet lessons before she even went to the beginners class. Oh my gosh, I was like that too! How many of us want to be perfect at the things we do even before we start doing it?

Perfection is a lie, it is not real. It is a judgement that we buy and then defend for or against it continuously. Because of this point of view I realized I had limited myself so much with starting new things. There were so many ideas to implement but it was not done simply because I was not sure that it would be perfect. It was almost like my life was put on hold. When I realized that I was defending this perfectionism, and cleared my beliefs around it, life has been unfolding in a different way. With every new idea I now look at it as how imperfectly can I do this?! That just takes away all the projections, expectations and conclusions out of it and interestingly things turn out far greater than I imagine it to be. Many of us limit our potential and what we can achieve because we want it to be perfect and if it isn't perfect then it isn't good enough for us. If you are one of them, then maybe it is time to change the belief and let go of that judgement NOW?

What if your imperfect self were the perfect invitation you’ve been looking for?  The very imperfections that you judge and allow to stop yourself could be your best selling point!  How could that change your life and what you create?

"How would my life expand if I was willing to do things terribly?" is a question I have started asking everyday and that has allowed me to simply jump into create new things in life. How does it get better than this?

Here is a tool you can play with. If you could pick ONE thing that you could do terribly this week, what would you try? when you start doing this by picking one thing each week, you open up your potential to explore your talents and abilities and do all those things which you didn't start just because you thought you won't be perfect at it :-)


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To know more about my work and what I do, you can visit my website www.reviveholistic.com or www.pratimanagaraj.accessconsciousness.com

What is Access Consciousness?

"Access Consciousness is a set of tools and techniques that allow you to create a dynamic change in any area of your life and change anything in your life that isn’t working for you. It is one of the most transformative healing modalities which is not widely known in the East compared to other techniques like Reiki, Pranic Healing or Hypnotherapy. Access Consciousness was developed by Gary Douglas about 25 years ago and has been co-created by Dr Dain Heer along the way. The target of Access is to empower you to know that you know! There is nothing new that is being taught here.

 

It is all about realizing that you are an infinite being with infinite potential and empowering you to realize your potency and power so that you can create a life and reality that YOU wish to"

CLICK HERE to read more of this article that I wrote -
http://www.glad2bawoman.com/category/spirituality/access-consciousness



You can also visit my website www.reviveholistic.com for details

Autobiography in Five Chapters

I found this wonderful poem by Porta Nelson in the book Autobiography in Five Chapters. It explains so well, the recurring patterns that we fall into, life time after life time! A soul chooses the same path across several lives, to learn the same lesson, over and over again and how do you recognize that lesson? Check for the patterns in your life...in all areas!

 

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole.

I fall in.

I am lost...I am hopeless.

It takes forever to find a way out.

 

 

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place.

But it is my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

 

 

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in...it's a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

 

 

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Understanding what the lesson is, absorbing it, and working out the reason for it not to be repeated is an important part of healing a pattern (or Karma). That's where a past life regression therapy helps...to trace back to the original source in the current or past...

 

Food for thought

A friend shared this on Facebook recently and I couldn't stop myself from posting it here.. This is something that I share with all my clients, in every session that I do. Each time you see the learning from a situation (whether challenging or not), the situation completely shifts, because we all choose the challenges/problems at a soul level, only to get the wisdom & learnings. So rather than getting frustrated and stressing over the problems in life, why not take a moment and think about what learning the situation has to offer or 'what is this person/situation trying to teach me?'. As the wisdom comes into the conscious mind, the situation shifts! If you see it metaphysically, karma is all about learning lessons....so the faster you learn, the sooner you clear your karmic baggage and the challenges fade away...

What stops us from doing this? Well, we all are great problem solvers, in fact most of us love doing that. But we don't realize that, as per the law of attraction, the more you love solving problems, the more you attract them! Being in allowance and looking for the learning is what changes the situation. (More about being in allowance in another post...)

So if you are reading this, why not think about a challenge that you are facing currently and spend a few minutes in silence to find out what is the learning from it? Dont worry if you don't succeed in the first attempt....do it a few times or for a couple of days. The moment the learning comes, notice how your vibrations change and the challenge doesn't seem like a challenge anymore!



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Visit www.reviveholistic.com to know more about my work