Reflection

There's this famous Assyrian adage - "Tell me your friends and I'll tell you who you are", which am sure all of us would have heard. I never really paid so much attention to this. Ever wondered how true these words could be! So, why am I talking about this now? I was just reading through some articles on the Dvaitha and Advaitha philosophies and about 'Conscious Relationships' in one of TOI's Sunday edition of April. (unfortunately I've lost the link to the article) .This was kind of talking about the quote that I mentioned above. It really got me thinking deep and suddenly made a lot of sense to me...

According to Advaita philosophy, the inner and outer worlds are the same 'coz the latter is the reflection of the former. So, whatever we see outside, is really a perception of ourselves, what we are inside. The article put this in an even more meaningful way, by relating it to the different kinds of relationships that we form during our lifetime. Consciously or unconsciously, its so true that we always end up making friends with people who kind of reflect our own personality (what you might call as like-mindedness). We are just trying to see another part of ourselves through our friends. That's why probably we can't "click" with everyone around. This holds true not only for friendships but also relationships. So, if you have an inferiority complex, a lack of love for your own self, then you will probably end up attracting similar kind of partners, where you will end up feeling 'not loved'. You might be just settling for someone who is not empathetic towards your feelings or needs. Most of the times this happens unconsciously, which is reflected back to us by the outer world. Try digging into your past, analyzing why your previous relationships have failed and you will start finding a pattern.... It's a kind of introspection, where you get to understand your inner self..

Here are a few excerpts from that article, that I had saved while I was reading it...

"To continually subject yourself to neglect, abuse, apathy or conflict is not being loving to yourself. If you are not loving to yourself, how can you expect anyone else to be? "

"They are reflected back because "like attracts like" and this is the nature of energy. Until you become aware of what is happening, you will keep repeating the cycle. The outer world is not really outer, it is a projection of what is within you. The inner and the outer are one. Therefore, when you continually draw to yourself a certain type of relationship, when you notice a pattern in your life's behaviour and when you repeatedly find yourself dealing with the same issues, you will know that the "trouble" lies within you...and not with the other person"

"To be aware that the person you see in front of you is actually a part of yourself, and to treat them accordingly, means to have the courage to be honest with yourself. It means you can no longer act from defensiveness. It means you can no longer try and control others........"

Hmmm... really intriguing part. Especially the first 2 lines... so true! Unless we really start loving ourselves, how can we expect to be surrounded by people who can love us?? It's as simple as it can get! One of the reasons for a lot of failed relationships I guess! So according to this, is it really possible to have a 'conscious relationship'? I mean, getting aware of our own self so that we attract similar kind of people. Is it really possible to break our patterns and change our inborn character...I wonder! Am sure it's possible.. .but how easy would it be is the question.

Coming back to the adage, looks like it really makes sense.. It's quite possible to look at the kind of people one is surrounded with or the kind of relationships a person is into... to get a picture of one's self!