Do you love being a control freak?

(Image courtesy: Google)

Most of us love being control freaks. Yes, me included!. I have been there done that all my life in my relationships, with my business, body, money, career etc. and continue doing it even now (maybe less often as I step into more and more awareness). Whether it works or not and creates what I desire is a different question, I still do it!

In the last few months I have been looking at creating a life and future that I truly desire and also specifically creating and actualizing something in particular. And the more I have tried controlling it, the more frustrating and difficult it has become. And this made me look deeper into what  goes on when you are trying to control.

First of all, what is control? Anywhere you are trying to get a specific outcome based on what you have concluded is right or wrong, good or bad, you have decided how it has to show up, when it has to show up and you have projections, expectations and judgements associated with it, you are being a control freak!

I was wondering what is the value of wanting to control? What do we all love about being control freaks? The answers maybe different for each one of you. For me, it was about ..

• cutting off my awareness of the present and future, so that I could be stuck with the conclusions and limitations that I have built up around the situation
• not wanting to let go and trust that the universe has my back
• Focus on what is going wrong so that when the outcome is not as per what I desire I can judge the hell out of myself, feel bad, feel pathetic and do all the trauma and drama (We all love judging ourselves, don’t we? The one person you judge the most is YOU!)
• Mimicking somebody else so that I can create the same result as what they created, giving up ME and my essence in the process (Not a smart choice, I know! But most of our choices are insane, yet we keep choosing it)
• Wanting to be perfect in what is created. Well, perfectionism is a huge lie that we buy into as real and true. It comes with a lot of judgements too.

So after coming up with the above list, I diligently worked towards destroying and un-creating each of it and letting go until there was no charge on it. Slowly I became aware that when we get into controlling a situation, we are actually stopping the process of true creation. It is actually like living in a conflictual universe where you desire to create something and you are trying to control it which eventually stops the creation process. That's why I call it an insane choice, because it doesn't make any sense why we choose it!


Another huge realization is that when you are being a control freak, you have eliminated all of the choices and created a choice-less universe for yourself and everyone involved. You cannot see any other choice other than what you have decided the outcome should be. Would you have a fixed menu with one choice or a buffet of multiple choices to play with? I definitely prefer the latter!

Now I am more willing to be aware of things, in the present and future, rather than be in control. Awareness always opens up more choices and more possibilities!

Just like in the picture on the top, you know the balloon can fly high, but you are holding onto the rope so tightly and then wondering why it is not flying, maybe there is something wrong with the balloon, it is faulty etc.  But forgetting that you are the one controlling it. Letting it go is what is required, for it to work. If only you are willing to be aware, you can clearly see the rope and what you are doing with it :) That's exactly what I am trying to say...

So think of a situation in your life currently, where you feel stuck or you wish you had more choice. What has being in control of it created for you? Would you like to let it go today and choose a different possibility? Would that create something far greater for you than you have imagined?!

If you are reading this, I would love to hear if you have anything to share regarding this, in the comments section.

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